Knee Replacement Part 4

Nov 1 - Reflections on my Mental Craziness

Today is Day 8 post-surgery. This week I noticed how I get something in my head that is not necessarily true, and then I act upon that. The last few days I noticed how much I want to be in competition with all others who have had knee replacement surgery and I want to show them and everyone else that I can do it better.  Kudos to me for increasing self-awareness for my happiness! I wanted to be the poster child for the best results ever, and to be acknowledged for how great it was that I waited as long as I did to have the surgery.

Thanks to my son BJ for helping me get the ice machine working. I used it consistently almost every hour of every day and it kept the swelling down. Then over days five and six I slacked off the ice and PT exercises.  After all, if I was so extraordinary and better than everyone else, I would not need to.  Wow, what a difference. More pain, less progress, my results were worse than the few days before.

More pain brought on oxycodone at night so I could sleep.  Although I wanted it during the day, I resisted. Depression followed. It was a shock to my ego to realize that I am just like everyone else. Ice and PT exercises bring progress sooner. Arrogance, and not doing what the doctor and physical therapist recommend, can slow, stop, or decrease progress.  It was a humbling experience.

I also considered how could my life have been better if I had this surgery sooner? Training for the Scotland hike could have been a lot easier. There were more opportunities to hike in Alaska than I took. What more could I have experienced if I had this surgery 5, 10, or 20 years ago? Would I have needed another by now?

I appreciate those who told me that it could be better to have the surgery now rather than wait until other physical issues prevented me from having any surgery. That thought alone prompted me to check my attitude and go forward with the operation.